Entries by Gerry North

HOW DO I LISTEN- TO WIN, FIX OR LEARN?

HOW DO I LISTEN TO MY PARTNER, DO I DO IT TO WIN – FIX OR LEARN? It’s a good question as the way we listen will determine the health of one of the most important aspects of the relationship – the type of dynamic in place. The dynamic is the way we listen, the […]

WHY LOVE

Why We Should Love More I wrote this blog article as in counselling it is largely about relationship issues. About being hurt, upset about the way being treated, confused on how to go forward or trying to nut out how to keep a sense of loving thyself. I would be lying if I didn’t say […]

YOUR IDENTITY – WHO ARE YOU

IDENTITY – WHAT HAVE YOU DIGESTED ABOUT YOURSELF Some clients are working so hard, or worried about their careers, they present not knowing who they are any longer. There is little doubt that working too hard can cause a lot of stress, bad sleep patterns, anxiety and feelings of being disconnected emotionally to others or […]

Dream the New Dream

DREAMING A NEW DREAM AFTER THE CORONAVIRUS EPIDEMIC   We have all been swamped with negative media stories night and day about the Coronavirus. It is and has been a terrible thing with much human tragedy. The world will be a much different place when things subside into a new normal.   Self-isolation is a […]

THE CORONA VIRUS AND HYPER AROUSAL

THE CORONA VIRUS AND HYPER AROUSAL I wonder is you are observing yourself with your reactions to the corona virus threat. Are you feeling anxious and at what level is it out of 10? It is natural for us to feel concerned for ourselves and others with this virus. The media are in full throttle […]

SHAME – DEALING WITH IT.

SHAME – WHAT IS IT AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. When we are small children and do something wrong in front of our primary care givers, usually our parents, we cover our eyes with shame. We do this as adults in front of others too covering our eyes when embarrassed, usually uttering words or […]

Do You Argue Often and Solve Little

Many clients come to see me because they report communication problems and are continually fighting without resolving anything. After each argument there is a time of feeling in a blue mood and later this turns to purple with depression and feelings of hopelessness. In time each partner eventually returns to a green zone of some […]

DEALING WITH CHEM.SEX

CHEM SEX AND ADDICTION Drugs and sex have been combined for centuries, take the example of alcohol and sex but there are warnings for us all using different classes of drugs today. I see clients who get lost using crystal methamphetamine, GHB (gamma hydroxybutyrate) or mephedrone, also known as miaow miaow, which can be snorted […]

WHEN THERE IS MORE THAN ONE MAN IN THE BEDROOM

Many gay couples come for counselling wanting to discuss having sex outside their relationship. Gay men need to negotiate this issue maturely, as having sex with others is a threat to relationship intimacy – but not talking about it is an even a bigger one. Having a monogamous ideal is fine, but keeping it all […]

RELATIONSHIP LONELINESS AND SELF-REGULATION

It is easy to become lonely in relationships when it is perceived the other no longer sees, listens or validates. The odd thing is that when you dig a bit deeper you usually find both partners feel lonely. Learning simple skills can do wonders to eradicate loneliness in couple domestic life. Ask this question often; […]